It was my first Friday night in Bangkok and I was zonked from working all week: I wanted to watch TV shows in bed with a tub of ice cream, and think about what to do for the long weekend tomorrow. On a more serious note, police warnings of ISIS threats were sent to offices around Bangkok. My boss told me to stay away from tourist destinations, and especially crowded bars full of foreigners – which would be a potential target for an attack.
But no, Tomo. You are 20 – go out there and make friends. Don’t let ISIS stop you from having fun, that’s exactly what they want! You’re living in a city with one of the most exciting nightlifes in the world, and what more, your neighbourhood Silom is home to the famous Patpong red light district, and to many other famous bars and clubs. (Featured in Hangover Part 2 – yet to tick off all the places they went in the film.)
Not knowing where to go, I shamelessly googled “how to meet other foreigners in Bangkok” and Google kindly told me to go to some Irish bars 500m down the road from my apartment. Handy. Now get out of your birthday suit and off you go.
So I made my way to O’Reilly’s on Silom Road, which seemed like a chill but bustling sports bar. I sat by myself in the corner with a pint of Chang, which I scored for the happy hour price of 100 baht. Timidly reading the latest Murakami book, I must have looked like the biggest dork.
Fast forward 30 minutes, and I somehow ended up playing pool with a bunch of English teachers that came from all around the world. And I was having such a great time.
Amongst them, I met Muhammad, a student at the school everyone taught at. “Where you from?” I opened the conversation with the compulsory question. “I’m from Syria, I’m a refugee.” Shit, things just got interesting really quick.
For the next 20 minutes, we were yarning about his experience – what it was like for him leaving Syria and his home, and how he wanted to make his way to Australia or New Zealand but the laws wouldn’t let him. He seemed a little embarrassed, saying things were easier for him because he was relatively wealthier than some of his less fortunate friends, and was able to cross borders quickly. The only choice he had was Thailand or Malaysia. Mohammed seemed to be very happy here, though. “I love Thailand – people don’t care if you’re a refugee, that’s not your defining status. Foreigner, refugee, ladyboy, whatever, it’s all the same.”
At this point, the guys were excited that it was time for the Bangkok Beatles to play. Apparently they play every Friday night at O’Reilly’s without fail, and dress like the Beatles and play out some bangers. They didn’t disappoint – everyone was up, doing a wee twist and shout.
The mellow start to my night turned up a notch from there. Next thing I know (or remember) I was in the Patpong red light district – and a bouncer standing outside a S&M themed strip club grabbed me and spanked my ass. Man, do I look like I’m into it? (Even if I was, why am I the spank-ee not the spanker?) Thanks, but no thanks.
For those of you who don’t know about Patpong – it’s a street full of Go Go Bars and Ping Pong Shows. (Ping Pong Shows – you’ll never see a ping pong ball the same way, EVER AGAIN.) It’s a no-go if you’re a solo female, but YOLO is my motto, especially after a few too many beers.
A must-do, but wasn’t really my scene. I just remember seeing a large herd of naked girls up on the table, all dressed in school girl outfits. Okay, nah I’m out. Tap out.
I ran out of the Go Go Bar with a dizzy head, quickly farewelled my new mates, grabbed a chocolate cake (questionable drunk food choice? What was I thinking?) from 7/11, and walked home by myself. Bangkok is surprisingly safe – no one cat-calling, no dangerous looking people, so I felt 100% safe despite the earlier warnings.
I called it a night, knowing that I’ve made some new mates and at least ticked off going to Patpong. Next up: Ladyboy shows and gay-club-hopping. Can’t wait.
Plz note: Writing this hungover the next morning. Excuse my bad grammar and spelling mistakes if there are any!
Lost in Gustation 
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