No one likes to talk about religion, even though it’s all around us. If you’re on your first date with someone, it’s the no.1 topic you want to avoid – you’re better off talking about the TPPA. It’s the one thing that can separate people that have the same values, let’s say of kindness, compassion and forgiveness – but soon as some find out they derive from a different foundation, let’s say one Buddhism and the other Christianity, it can separate people.
So it got me thinking on Christmas day. (I write this as I watch Love Actually with my Pa – it’s 5 past 12 now. Merry Christmas!) I’ll definitely celebrate Christmas today, but I’ll also hit the shrines later on this weekend. So I began to wonder, why can’t the world celebrate other religions and their festivities like half the world celebrates Christmas? Is it normal for me to celebrate Christmas then to go to a shrine, then a temple when I’m back in Thailand?
And my thoughts on this topic have been influenced largely by my Japanese upbringing. The Japanese are like cheeky kids that dip their fingers in everyone’s delicious looking plates at an international dinner party, when the adults are too busy fighting over who’s dinner tastes the best. Japan is really weird: we’re born Shinto, and we go to shrines and pray on a regular basis. We marry as Christian at a church. And we die as Buddhists, at a Buddhist funeral. In our yearly calendar, we celebrate Shinto festivals, Buddhist festivals, and even Christian festivals – like Christmas!
And I would resonate as that cheeky kid: when I think of all these religious festivals, I think divine food. On New Years we have delicious food over three days. Christmas food – yummmmm. To us, religion is tradition, it’s culture: so whatever is custom, we do it. You don’t have to be strictly religious to celebrate religious festivals.
I’m definitely not an atheist, but I wouldn’t identify as strictly one religion either, and I think this puzzles a lot of people. Isn’t religion about believing in a particular teachings of a particular religion? For me, it’s not really.
I would say I float between just being me, a Shinto, and a Buddhist. But I would happily celebrate any religious festival from any country. (Hence the Christmas day post!) I don’t think the fact that I don’t resonate as just a single one undermines the fact I consider myself in the loosest sense religious. So what do you believe in!? You may ask.
Well, since I was a little kid, I’ve visited mostly shrines (shinto = shrines) on a weekly basis, and on the odd occasion we’d make a trip to a temple (temple = buddhist) to pray, too. Every shrine or temple I visited, I’d pray about all sorts of things, but I suppose it was mainly a time of reflection, and keeping myself in line and checking in with my values. Besides, as a little kid, shrines meant delicious shrine food: rice cakes and red beans inevitably followed after every visit.
And there was a time in my life where I was sent to a Christian school, where I had to say the Lord’s prayer everyday. I just mindlessly uttered the words, but I was’t against the whole thing, not even the slightest. I didn’t protest against going to chapel.
And after awhile, I kinda realised its ‘same-same but different.’ I’m praying, reflecting on my week, checking in with my values, all just in a different setting. Sure, you mumble different words with a slightly different meaning – but the values they have both given me are the same. And I hope what I’m about to say doesn’t offend anyone, but I don’t resonate as a Christian, and I don’t believe in Jesus etc etc. But I think the teachings of the bible, not taken too literally, has so much to offer. I welcome all stories with a moralistic twang to it. Without these old fables, who will teach kids right from wrong? So I guess I can say that in hindsight going to a Christian school was really great for me. But yes, there is a lot of danger in taking everything word for word, and I don’t think it’s worth anyone’s time debating over whether Jesus was born in Israel, whether this religion is superior than that religion, or whether Buddha really existed or not.
So did it matter if I prayed at a shrine or at a church? In my opinion, no. Let’s not sweat it. I know this is a weird way of thinking about religion, but I really don’t think it makes that much of a difference. I’d still happily pray at a church if I was put in the situation. I might not strictly believe in Jesus and his teachings, but I would happily use that time to pray for good things, appreciate what I have in my life and reflect on everything.
When I go to different friends’ houses (and trust me, having gone to boarding school you come out with friends from so many different cultural and religious backgrounds) I don’t feel uncomfortable saying Grace before dinner, or putting my hands and bowing to my food as any Japanese would, or having a beef-less meal: that’s cool with me. In any setting, we’re just showing our appreciation for what’s in front of us, so I don’t care how I show my appreciation – to the people who grew my food, to people who cooked it, and to be fortunate enough to have food on the table. So whatever language of religion I do it in, whether it’s in Japanese or through Grace, I just like being around people that take the time to be thankful for what’s around them. Seriously, it doesn’t matter. All is welcome.
In no way am I trying to be a know-it-all, and I’m not trying to say this way of thinking is superior or anything. Im definitely out of line with my morals from time to time. And people would probably not believe me, given the sheer amount of alcohol I drink, that on New Years night (supposedly the rowdiest night all year) I’m very true to myself, and I go to three shrines to pray. (In Japan, it’s seen as good luck go to three separate shrines on New Years day.) It’s a nice gesture, a nice way to start the year and to set a resolution. Drink less, study harder, spend less – I can keep trying, I’m not perfect!
It’s only when we look at what’s on everyone else’s plate that we start fighting and wars begin over who’s plate is best. So you do you. Or why don’t we just be really cheeky and dip our fingers in everything, and appreciate differences? After all, they use some of the same ingredients, have similar cooking methods – it just came out with a different result. And I think that’s how I was brought up as a child – taste everything, appreciate everything, and respect differences.
So talking about religion can be awkward – you don’t want to step on anyones toes by saying you don’t believe in what they believe in. But I’m sure that for every minor difference you find between you and that person, there are so many similarities and shared values. I feel like such a wishy washy emotional hippie writing this post, but I’m just trying to say share the love people!! No one is right or wrong. Spread love not wars. Peace out, Merry Christmas everyone. xoxo
PS: I wrote this because I’m jet-lagged and can’t sleep, but it’s 2pm here. Excuse my overly emotive and sentimental post and spelling and grammar mistakes if there are any. Happy holidays!
PPS: I’m very curious to hear what everyone else thinks about religion, and I’m open to being proven wrong. Plz comment below if you have something to say 🙂 Ty ty xx
Lost in Gustation 
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