I had a Muay Thai fight in Thailand. It was awesome

Cranking “Man I Feel Like a Woman” by my girl Shania on my Iphone, I tried to ease the nerves by having a wee karaoke session in the corner. Locals were looking at me like I was a Martian, and tourists who walked past clearly dismissed me as a weirdo with a few screws loose. I was punching above my weight in more than one sense. My opponent had at least 5kg on me, and I’d always thought fighting in Thailand was way beyond what I was capable of.

I’m pretty sure no one appreciated my abrupt change in genre either: from Shania, to “Take Me Out” by Franz Ferdinand, then to “Dancing in the Dark” by good old Bruce Springsteen, I was pumping out random tunes to get me in the mood. By the time they had to listen to my gawky attempt at rapping “Black Skinhead” by Kanye, they were probably wishing I got KO’d already. But with 5 minutes left to go until I stepped into the ring for the first time in Thailand, I could not care less what anyone thought of me or how I looked.  Because quite frankly, when you’re in the ring you have no time to give a shit about whether you look pretty while you’re boxing, or if your pants are sliding down. Even if your nose is snotty, even if you get a rather unpleasant wedgie, your main concern is not getting knocked out. (I’ve actually fought with a wedgie before and it’s horrid.)

Anyone who claims they weren’t even in the slightest bit scared before a fight is a bigger trash-talker than Donald Trump. Stepping into a ring, knowing that for the next 15 minutes another person is only thinking about beating you up, without headgear or shinguards, and being fully aware of the possibility that you could get the living daylights kicked out of you, is scary as hell. It’s like stepping into a cage with a lion looking at you like you’re a tasty piece of meat. It’s like being in real-life Call of Duty, not knowing when or where shots are going to get fired at you. It’s hella scary is what I’m trying to say.

I’ve never dealt very well with nerves. Before big final exams, before getting on a plane, before making a big public speech, I get hot, my hands get sweaty and my already not-so-articulate self becomes incomprehensible. It’s alg, it’s just a friendly tango session with another girl. Wait no – wtf are you doing to yourself. She looks massive. The optimistic angel in me was fighting against the pessimistic loser, and I went through waves of being exited, nervous, tired, anxious and eager. A mate from the gym wished me luck – and I said “you too!” (lol) But thankfully by the time it was time for me to step in the ring, the scales were slightly in favour of excitement. After all, all I had to do was remind myself that I actually enjoy this sport a hell of a lot.

You may ask why I would put myself through this agonising process. Well, you don’t get an adrenaline rush without experiencing fear first. Why is skydiving so much fun? Because it’s scary. You can’t get that same rush without taking risks and doing challenging things. It’s somewhat paradoxical that something scary becomes something so intoxicatingly fun. In those final moments leading up to the fight, I had to tell myself this in order to assure myself it would be worth it. That buzz afterwards was the ultimate drug I craved.

For those of you who don’t know much about Muay Thai, before the match fighters perform a traditional dance called the Wai Kru: a way of warding off bad spirits out of the ring, and showing respect to your trainers. It’s one of the reasons why I love Muay Thai. Contrary to some believing it’s a brutish and barbaric sport, it’s all about respect and gracefulness.

Against all the odds, and equally delighting supporters and frustrating gamblers who bet against me, I managed to come out with a clean win on points! I was gutted about my performance in the first two rounds, and at one point the pessimist in me thought I was going to lose. If you watch the video (at the bottom of this post), the first kick she throws I managed to block with my leg – but she threw such a solid kick, that my left leg was slightly impaired for the next five rounds. (I actually can’t walk atm – hence cancelling my plans to go trekking and elephant riding today, and I’m writing this blog post by the pool!)

From round two onwards, I managed to keep a smile on my dial the whole time. I must have looked super cocky, but I was truly just happy to be there and having a blast. I could hear my trainer Chelsea yelling “stop messing around! KO KO!” which made me giggle a wee bit in the ring. In between rounds three and four, I asked my corner “what round is it?” and they looked at me like I was bonkers. I was quite confused too – how on earth could I forget what round it was? My only explanation is that time flies when you’re having fun. Turns out it was round four, not three. Whoops.

When the the final bell rang, and the referee put my hand up in the air, I could have sworn I was the happiest girl in the world. Afterwards I had my five minutes of fame too, when over 20 randoms asked to take a photo with me. One lad had actually saw the flyer of the fight and saw that a fellow Kiwi was fighting, and came especially to support. It was a truly humbling experience, and my cheeks hurt from smiling at so many cameras.

So surprisingly, I managed to have so much fun while getting punched and kicked, and I’m super chuffed that I spent my last few weeks in Thailand sacrificing a lot to have an experience I will treasure for a lifetime. It’s been less than two days since the fight, and I’ve already consumed a ridiculous amount of chocolate, countless pints of beer, and have ordered pancakes twice on separate occasions. I bid farewell to my fitness and muscles, and I’m going to indulge in all my favorite treats for now. But soon as my legs are functioning again, I’ll be back at training, doing what I love so much: working harder to be fitter, faster and stronger than before. I’ll be back Thapae Stadium – until next time!