Being adopted by a Thai family for a weekend

Last weekend, I became an adopted foreign child in a Thai family and had a taste of the local life. I was fortunate enough to cross paths with Dave: an old friend from my boarding school days, who was back home in Bangkok for a month. His family were super welcoming, caring and generous, and offered to take me out to the Amphawa for the weekend – where life was slower, the climate was cooler, and the food was simply divine.

Amphawa is just 50km out of Bangkok, and is known for its floating markets on the river. Since there’s no public transport going out there, most tourists don’t get the chance to see this beautiful piece of paradise. The majority of visitors are locals, which makes the experience all the more authentic. The whole weekend was characterised by me asking “what is this?” “is this edible?” “what did that person just say?” and “is that normal here?” and it was such a nice change from constantly battling the language barrier, asking directions in broken Thai, and not knowing what I was eating – I actually had someone to explain to me what was going on for once!

#1 Driving in Bangkok

Since I’ve been walking or getting the train everywhere, it was my first proper time on the roads. Driving in Bangkok is like real life Super Mario Kart: it’s like an exciting and full-on obstacle course, except your own life is actually at risk. My face was scrunched up for the whole 90min it took from Bangkok to Amphawa, which gave it away that I was shit scared for my life. “Do you want to drive?” IS THAT A JOKE!? No thanks.

There were two official lanes marked on the road, but some creative drivers decided to make a third. (Because why not?) They just tooted and hooned past us, missing our car by a narrow margin every time. In Bangkok, you don’t bother to look for a gap to change lanes, you just pave your way through by going head in. At one point, a massive bus cut through four lanes to try to get in front of us. I screamed and closed my eyes, certain I was about to die. Dave didn’t even blink, and didn’t let the bus driver bully him into cutting in – he just sped up. I nearly spewed up.

What also took me by surprise was the sheer amount of motorcyclists without helmets on! I’m 100% certain Dave got sick of me saying “look! Another guy without a helmet on!” every 2 minutes. I was also puzzled when he randomly tooted on the road, but I learnt that if you’re going past a statue of Buddha, you honk at it to acknowledge it’s presence and to pray for road safety. I usually get sick of long road trips, but this one definitely kept me on my toes.

#2 The food 

Once we arrived at Amphawa, we went straight to the markets to grab some kai. If you love seafood, Amphawa is heaven on earth: every 10m, you see a vendor selling fresh crab, oysters, scallops, prawns and fish, cooking it on the spot and selling a good solid portion for as cheap as NZ $2. I sampled everything from noodles, seafood to ice blocks, until my stomach begged me to stop being a fatty.

But the feasting continued throughout the whole weekend. (I’m not even joking.) The house we stayed in was on a lovely spot riverside, where boats rowed past every minute. Every boat that was carrying food was called out to stop by Dave’s grandma. She didn’t take no for an answer, or maybe she pretended that she didn’t know what ‘no thank you’ meant in English. She made sure that I tried everything there was to try: from crispy pork belly on rice, the best pad thai I’ve had in my life, coconut ice cream served in bread with corn (random right?), and traditional Thai snacks throughout the day.

#4 Snorting a pinch of some unknown black powder

Okay, it’s not as bad as it sounds – it’s just nicotine. Dave’s granddad had a stash of this peculiar black powder which he occasionally puts up his nose. If you didn’t know what it was, you would question the normality of it all. (Like what, what are you snorting!?) I was invited to sample this rare substance. It was like instant durries that stung your nose, and his granddad and I had a wee bond over it.

#5 Ghosts, spirits and nightmares

In Thailand, most people believe in ghosts and spirits. Dave’s mum told me to always do good deeds to people around you, to avoid attracting bad spirits. At night, we all gathered by the river around a table, shitting our pants as we heard the scariest, real life ghost stories I’ve ever heard. So let me share one of them, which nearly made my 20year-old self cry.

So every university in Thailand has a ghost story, and Thammasat University’s tale of the ‘Red Lift’ has even been turned into a movie, and is based on a real tragedy. In 1976, peaceful student protests broke out when an oppressive military regime took over the government. Not impressed with these student protests, military troops were sent into the university, killing more than 100 students and injuring over a 1000. So the story goes – that when the troops were approaching close, some male students hid the female students in the elevator to protect them. The male students were massacred straight away. Tragically, when the female students reached the top floor, troops were waiting for them with guns and every last girl was shot to death in the elevator. They weren’t able to get the blood stains off the walls, so the university painted the lift red.

After classes resumed, the lift was used as if nothing happened in there. There were several incidents of students feeling ill and uncomfortable in the lift, but nothing was actually done about it. One day, when a female student went in the elevator by herself, she decided to get her comb out and brush her hair in front of the elevator mirror. She had short hair, but when she combed her hair in front of the mirror, it grew longer and longer, until she realised the reflection was not her, but a female student that was massacred in the elevator, staring right back with a bloody face.

This is just one of the stories, and it’s not even a joke. More than a handful of students have actually been sent to mental institutions after reportedly seeing spirits in the elevator, and the university eventually closed the lift forever. That night, I couldn’t brush my teeth in the bathroom because there was a mirror in there. -_- Now I can’t bare to look into mirrors for too long: I even went to work without putting mascara on today! (I really really do hope this is just a phase, and I’ll eventually calm my farm.)

#6 The monks 

After a sleepless night, checking every hour or so if there were any spirits in the room, we were woken up at 6am to offer food to the monks. Since the monks in Thailand aren’t allowed to buy food themselves, the one meal a day they’re allowed solely rely on the kindness of others to donate food to them. The first monk that rowed past was called out by Dave’s grandma, and she handed me a bag of food to put in the monk’s boat. After placing some food in a silver pot in his boat, I put my hands together as he uttered some words of blessing, and gave me a handmade necklace to protect me from bad spirits.

So the whole weekend was exactly what I needed: getting away from the busy city, putting my feet up riverside and forgetting about work a wee while.

In saying that, tomorrow I’ll be going HOME to JAPAN for Christmas!!! 😀 😀 😀 I’ve loved every minute I’ve spent in Bangkok, and I can’t wait to be back in the New Year for more new adventures. But after long tiring year of uni and going straight into work and travel, I’m ready to go to my favorite place on earth… there’s no other place like home! I’m craving a typical home-cooked meal: a bowl of locally grown Japanese rice, miso soup, fresh sashimi from the fish markets and seasonal Japanese vegetables. Dad if you’re reading this, please take the subtle hint – hijiki and kimpira gobo on the side please, see you soon!